He's Gone
by Ella Dean Pendragon
Summary: Alaric's gone, Damon can't handle it any more, this is what he leaves behind to explain everything. Don't know where this came from I just HAD to write it, you may need a tissue but hopefully a bittersweet ending. Dalaric.


**He's Gone**

He's gone, he has been gone for a while now but the wound, the tear in my hear it still as fresh as it was the day he left because he did, he left me here when he promised me that he wouldn't, he said that he would always be here with me and I guess he meant in a spiritual way, that would just be like him, that was the way that he used to think but I don't care, he promised me.

We were closer than people thought, most saw us as best friends, we loved each other, hated each other at times but when it mattered we were always there when it mattered but we were much closer than that, as close as two people could be, I loved him in a way that I didn't think was possible, sure I had loved before, as a brother and I guess I loved Elena but only cause I was suppose to but him, he was different, he never expected anything from me because he knew who I was, he knew what he was getting and so did I and that's why we were imperfectly perfect, he loved me and I loved him, the blemishes, skin deep and beyond didn't matter.

With him it was the first time in over a century I truly felt alive, because for the first time I could breathe freely, I could be me without fearing the repercussions of the world because he would be there to protect me from their razor words.

It was a summers night much like this one when he made that promise to me, when he promised he would never leave me and I knew he meant every word as we lay there, facing each other, his hand over my heart, his eyes staring into mine, into my very soul. I raised my hand and tangled it in the dirty blond strands of damp hair at the base of his neck as he spoke, whispers of love and promises.

Then he was gone, ripped from my arms, my love, my reason to still live gone in a second, is it really that easy to tear a soul from the earth in one moment? It should be impossible yet here I am, facing the reality. The tears fell yes but now looking back I believe that they were an automatic response, they couldn't have been real, how could they when I couldn't feel anything anymore? I died when he did, from then on I was an empty shell, a body can exist without its soul but it can not live, I was a sun that refused to burn.

The public aftermath was the worse, they all stood there with their lanterns as though it would take away the pain as it drifted towards the sky, how could they think that? I was angry at them, that they thought such a thing possible but had they really become numb to it as suggested. I went to the cemetery that night to see him, I talked to a stone that bore his name, little did I know at the time that I was actually talking to him, he was there like he promised, I regret now the pain I caused him as he had to watch me go through the grief. I told him then that if it had not been for the fact that he would want me to look after the children I would have already joined him because there, surely the pain could not touch me?

Then he came back, the veil was dropped, the town swimming in dead loved ones but none as loved as him, they couldn't have been. I told him everything, the long, dark and tear filled nights that I would just lay on his bed, in his loft alone and try to drown myself in bourbon and the memories that we had made but of cause I didn't need to tell him, he had witnessed everything. I was torn in two, he was here and I wanted to cling tight to him, defend him from anyone that would try take him away from me again, to make him leave but of course I knew he would have to and it was like sticking a white hot poker in the gangrene rip across my heart but I wasn't going to waste the time I had with him, once we had dealt with what needed dealing with I dragged him back to his loft and, I won't go into the details, I know it would make you cringe but I wasn't going to forget a single inch of him this time.

Dawn approached when we finally fell asleep, I didn't want to sleep, I knew that his time was nearly up and that he would be gone again. He had already given me the cure, told me to make a go of it with Elena, selfless bastard that he was but I couldn't, I couldn't ask her to love someone who could never love her the way she wanted but I resolved not to tell him, to ruin our last moments together, so I did sleep, I figured it might be less painful to actually watch him leave and sure enough when I woke he was gone and I don't think I have ever cried so hard in my extensive existence, dusk was approaching again before I managed to drag myself out of there. I drove to Elena's and gave her the cure as he wished, she tried to tell me that she loved me but I told her to love someone who's heart deserved it.

So here I am, I can not do it anymore, I can not put that act on anymore for you all, I can not put that smile on my face anymore. I am sorry for doing it this way but I can't live anymore, without him I am not good for anything, how can you live without your heart? He owned mine, he still does.

When the sun raises it will all be over. I am sorry to make you go on alone, but I am sure you understand in a way. I imagine as you are reading this you have found my daylight ring and I am gone but please don't cry, I am with him, I am safe and happy, I am with Alaric.

I love you Stefan,

Goodbye brother,

Damon.


End file.
